Mis Vacaciones

hey :) How are you? Cool, I couldn't give less of a shit :)

So, I got back from Austria yesterday and in todays episode I would like to talk about some things that happened there.

So, we have a flat in a small town called Kaprun and on my second day of skiing we met an Italian family. Now the parents were charming people but their son was a complete ARSE. He was so arrogant and what he found most amusing was to wind me up about the European Championship result and how Italy have given more to the world the England. I reminded him that at one point we owned more than a third of the earths land mass and that our empire was significantly bigger than the Roman one. Despite all of this, he kept pissing me off by being a sort of cross between Whelton, and a Labrador puppy, basically doesn't shut up and is always there when you least need him to be. So eventually I snapped. Our parents were talking about summer holidays and the Corleones (I don't know their actualt surname so lets just use the Godfather one for now), couldn't decide where to go. They turned and asked me for my opinion. So me, being me said the first thing that came into my head. I said, to a family of three from Naples, "Oh um I hear bankrupcy is nice this time of year". Cue a horrified look from my mum and an explosion of laughter from my dad. I am a horrible person.

Also while I was there, I  had some interesting conversations with certain people. I shall stop there for risk of upsetting anyone.

Although I do like skiing, I am very much a home person. I miss the shit food, shit weather, shit people and driving on the correct side of the road. Also, I noticed a HUGE difference between people in mainland Europe and us. We have queues. Honestly, whenever you try to get a T-Bar, Button lift or Chair lift, people just ski as fast as they possibly can into the back of you and push straight past. Now the sensible way to react to this would be to just leave it as we would get on eventually. Not my brother. Some small kid pushed past him and knocked him over. So my bro watched where he went when he got off the lift. He followed this kid down the mountain and about halfway down a red run, pulled alongside him and stamped his pole down on the back of the kids skis. I can honestly say that it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen, with the exception of Harrison in his yellow spandex costume for 'The Winters Tale'.

So there you have it, another log and a valuable insight into my life. You should keep these for when I become famous. I will see the majority of you on Wednesday and I'm sure the pleasure will be all yours.

Thank you and Gooodnight.

P.S Ba should go back to Newcastly

P.P.S Lance Armstrong is a drugs cheat, just saying