Heyyyy!!!!
So what I thought I would do today is copy my good friend Harrison,and make a list of good shit, and shit shit so here goes:
1. Glee-why? Because Naya Rivera is hot and Darren Criss is a very awesome human
2. Musicals-they're just good
3. Robert Downey Jr- man crush,we all have one
4. Chelsea FC- does it need explaining
5. My friends-got some retards (Ronald) some camp ones (Harrison) and some scary ones (RHYS!)
6. Samuel L Jackson-the ultimate Blackman
Now for the shit shit:
1. People who change as they become more popular
2. People who complain to your rugby coach about you,when they are a pussy
3. Rafael Benitez
4. Fernando Torres
5. The majority of people in my year
6. That girl(s) who think they are above you just because they look good
7. People who call you gay because of your interests and tastes
8. Girls who lead guys on then let them down. Bitches
Before I go, I would like to mention something very important to me. It's people who change as they get more popular. I am thinking of two people in particular and ,despite me really wanting to, I will not name names. If I was your only friend for two years and suddenly you become popular purely because you do stupid shit, doesn't give you the right to become a prick. The two people whom I am talking about will know who they are.
Thanks for reading this,hope I wasted more time from your meaningless lives , good day,lol no have a shit one I don't care :)
P.S thank you Atlanta :)
Tuesday 22 January 2013
Monday 7 January 2013
Mis Vacaciones
hey :) How are you? Cool, I couldn't give less of a shit :)
So, I got back from Austria yesterday and in todays episode I would like to talk about some things that happened there.
So, we have a flat in a small town called Kaprun and on my second day of skiing we met an Italian family. Now the parents were charming people but their son was a complete ARSE. He was so arrogant and what he found most amusing was to wind me up about the European Championship result and how Italy have given more to the world the England. I reminded him that at one point we owned more than a third of the earths land mass and that our empire was significantly bigger than the Roman one. Despite all of this, he kept pissing me off by being a sort of cross between Whelton, and a Labrador puppy, basically doesn't shut up and is always there when you least need him to be. So eventually I snapped. Our parents were talking about summer holidays and the Corleones (I don't know their actualt surname so lets just use the Godfather one for now), couldn't decide where to go. They turned and asked me for my opinion. So me, being me said the first thing that came into my head. I said, to a family of three from Naples, "Oh um I hear bankrupcy is nice this time of year". Cue a horrified look from my mum and an explosion of laughter from my dad. I am a horrible person.
Also while I was there, I had some interesting conversations with certain people. I shall stop there for risk of upsetting anyone.
Although I do like skiing, I am very much a home person. I miss the shit food, shit weather, shit people and driving on the correct side of the road. Also, I noticed a HUGE difference between people in mainland Europe and us. We have queues. Honestly, whenever you try to get a T-Bar, Button lift or Chair lift, people just ski as fast as they possibly can into the back of you and push straight past. Now the sensible way to react to this would be to just leave it as we would get on eventually. Not my brother. Some small kid pushed past him and knocked him over. So my bro watched where he went when he got off the lift. He followed this kid down the mountain and about halfway down a red run, pulled alongside him and stamped his pole down on the back of the kids skis. I can honestly say that it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen, with the exception of Harrison in his yellow spandex costume for 'The Winters Tale'.
So there you have it, another log and a valuable insight into my life. You should keep these for when I become famous. I will see the majority of you on Wednesday and I'm sure the pleasure will be all yours.
Thank you and Gooodnight.
P.S Ba should go back to Newcastly
P.P.S Lance Armstrong is a drugs cheat, just saying
So, I got back from Austria yesterday and in todays episode I would like to talk about some things that happened there.
So, we have a flat in a small town called Kaprun and on my second day of skiing we met an Italian family. Now the parents were charming people but their son was a complete ARSE. He was so arrogant and what he found most amusing was to wind me up about the European Championship result and how Italy have given more to the world the England. I reminded him that at one point we owned more than a third of the earths land mass and that our empire was significantly bigger than the Roman one. Despite all of this, he kept pissing me off by being a sort of cross between Whelton, and a Labrador puppy, basically doesn't shut up and is always there when you least need him to be. So eventually I snapped. Our parents were talking about summer holidays and the Corleones (I don't know their actualt surname so lets just use the Godfather one for now), couldn't decide where to go. They turned and asked me for my opinion. So me, being me said the first thing that came into my head. I said, to a family of three from Naples, "Oh um I hear bankrupcy is nice this time of year". Cue a horrified look from my mum and an explosion of laughter from my dad. I am a horrible person.
Also while I was there, I had some interesting conversations with certain people. I shall stop there for risk of upsetting anyone.
Although I do like skiing, I am very much a home person. I miss the shit food, shit weather, shit people and driving on the correct side of the road. Also, I noticed a HUGE difference between people in mainland Europe and us. We have queues. Honestly, whenever you try to get a T-Bar, Button lift or Chair lift, people just ski as fast as they possibly can into the back of you and push straight past. Now the sensible way to react to this would be to just leave it as we would get on eventually. Not my brother. Some small kid pushed past him and knocked him over. So my bro watched where he went when he got off the lift. He followed this kid down the mountain and about halfway down a red run, pulled alongside him and stamped his pole down on the back of the kids skis. I can honestly say that it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen, with the exception of Harrison in his yellow spandex costume for 'The Winters Tale'.
So there you have it, another log and a valuable insight into my life. You should keep these for when I become famous. I will see the majority of you on Wednesday and I'm sure the pleasure will be all yours.
Thank you and Gooodnight.
P.S Ba should go back to Newcastly
P.P.S Lance Armstrong is a drugs cheat, just saying
Thursday 3 January 2013
2013, lets hope for the best
Hello everyone, seasons greetings! (can I still say that? lets go with yes)
Thanks for the good response to the previous one so i shall write another one :D aren't you guys lucky :)
So whilst eating my healthy lunch of a fried egg sandwhich (come at me) I was thinking about what to write. So, as the yoke decided to launch unrestricted egg warfare onto my shirt, I decided the one shall write about my hopes for 2013.
FIrstly, we have GCSE's. Now, as we have been told by the man with the voice of a God (Mr Stephens) that these exams are the most important ones we will ever face in our lives, so on and so forth. I think I will do alright in them, but not amazing like Saward or Gin. Despite constant pressures from friends and teachers telling me that anything lower than an A is 'av' or 'below par' I am starting to care less and less. I know where and what I want to do, and I will aim to achieve that, not what everyone else thinks I should be aiming for.
My next aim is to find a Girlfriend. Now some of you will be thinking HA GAAYYYY but to be honest, I don't care. I would rather not go to a party, poison my liver and have sex with some random girl I have never met. I'm good, I'm good (Frozone from the incredibles incase you were wondering). I don't see anything wrong with having a decent long lasting relationship and if there is please, do not hesitate to let me know. Colon capital D
My last aim for 2013 is to get in a decent play and actually have a decent role, not just be some shit part because I'm not in the sixth form. I am better than some of them and that is a fact. I like acting and I think I am a reasonably good singer, so that what I am aiming to do.
Apologies it's not that funny but y'know, can't always have it your own way. selfish.
Cheers for reading, Olly
P.S Willis, I promise you that you won't guess :)
Thanks for the good response to the previous one so i shall write another one :D aren't you guys lucky :)
So whilst eating my healthy lunch of a fried egg sandwhich (come at me) I was thinking about what to write. So, as the yoke decided to launch unrestricted egg warfare onto my shirt, I decided the one shall write about my hopes for 2013.
FIrstly, we have GCSE's. Now, as we have been told by the man with the voice of a God (Mr Stephens) that these exams are the most important ones we will ever face in our lives, so on and so forth. I think I will do alright in them, but not amazing like Saward or Gin. Despite constant pressures from friends and teachers telling me that anything lower than an A is 'av' or 'below par' I am starting to care less and less. I know where and what I want to do, and I will aim to achieve that, not what everyone else thinks I should be aiming for.
My next aim is to find a Girlfriend. Now some of you will be thinking HA GAAYYYY but to be honest, I don't care. I would rather not go to a party, poison my liver and have sex with some random girl I have never met. I'm good, I'm good (Frozone from the incredibles incase you were wondering). I don't see anything wrong with having a decent long lasting relationship and if there is please, do not hesitate to let me know. Colon capital D
My last aim for 2013 is to get in a decent play and actually have a decent role, not just be some shit part because I'm not in the sixth form. I am better than some of them and that is a fact. I like acting and I think I am a reasonably good singer, so that what I am aiming to do.
Apologies it's not that funny but y'know, can't always have it your own way. selfish.
Cheers for reading, Olly
P.S Willis, I promise you that you won't guess :)
2012
Hi. I'm Olly. Olly Norman. Yep.
So, as I write this I am sitting on a balcony in the beautiful village of Kaprun in Austria. Its -6 degrees, snowing and sunny. Fucking mental.
Anyway, I decided to start one of these after reading my friend Harrys blog (HPFleming.blogspot.com). His is very funny and I suggest you read it, mine probably wont be as amusing, but I will still give it a go.
So I thought I would start by writing a bit about the year just gone, 2012 for those of you incapable of normal and sensible thought....Whelton.
The last year started for me as this one has, stuck in Austria with my family, texting a girl who is at a party making me insanely jealous. I wanna party to.
So after I came home from my skiing holiday, we all went straight back to school and fitted in to the same boring routine. Form time, lessons one, two and three, break, lessons four and five, football (lunch), lessons six and seven, coach home and talk about football.
Nothing exciting really happened through January, or February or even March for that matter. In April though, I went to see Les Miserables with mi familia. It is sooooo good! See it. Also in April I got my devising group for my GCSE Drama. I think its safe to say that we didnt start off on a good note. None of us really knew or liked each other. This basically stayed the same until about June. I still think one of the group didn't like me too much but she must have something wrong with her because I am fucking awesome.
May was a good month. It had my birthday, my sisters birthday and my cousins birthday. Oh yeah, and the Champions League Final. Thank you Didier, love you.
Our end of year exams came and went, I picked up the usual results of mainly B's, one C and one A. Pretty poor I know but oh well. As the school year drew to a close I started to think about the people in my year. I realised that most of them, are infact massive bellends. We have a massive social hierachy. For boys, you have the gym obsessed ones who roll their shirt sleeves up as far as humanly possible and use words such as 'lid', 'bev' and 'safe'. Then you have the football lads/da boiz/JMAS. These guys, which includes me, are the ones that sort of linger everywhere. Some of the Gym LAds like us, some don't. This suits most of us down to the ground as we really couldn't give less of a shit. After us you have the crew. They are all perfectly nice guys, just not very popular.
Now, for girls, the hierachy is a bit less obvious. The popular ones are clear to see, they go to all the parties, only talk to the popular guys and think anyone else is an inferiour specimen. Then you have about 3 other groups or are basically as popular as each other, then there is another group of whom we shall not speak.
Come July and come the summer. Now, can you guess what always comes with summer? No holiday pictures is not the answer. The answer is infact the endless of amount of tweets about how 'fat I am' or 'how my skin is soooooo pale'. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody really cares, its just fishing for compliments. More than once when someone tweets 'oh my god look at my belly I am so fat' with a picture of them in a bikini attached, I have wanted to comment 'yes, you are. Now get over it and go for a run'. I didn't actually put that, I am not that mean.
Into August and que the Olympics. The first event was the Olympic road race coming through my home shithole that is Dorking. Off we trundled to watch Cav,Wiggo,Froome,Millar and Stanard to zoom past on 9grand Pinarellos. We should have one but we had to tow the peloton the entire way. The Americans, Germans and Spanish all chose not to help. Well screw them.
I think the Olympics was an overall success, although swimming...yeah.
AFter the summer we all came back to school and had about a million lectures on how important GCSE's are and how they will mould our future. No pressure then. We also had our GCSE drama piece to perform, that went will and I will actually miss that group. Well I will talk to some of them again but others probably won't be seen dead with me.
November came and with it came the muffled tones of Christmas bells. I love Christmas, food, presents, family and the food, seeing people , food. (thank you Miranda Hart). Christmas day came, I got some cool shit, and went again, leaving me with a full stomach and an eagerness for Doctor Who to start. On the 29th we flew out to Munich and drove here, to Austria. It is cool out here, but being with only my family for an entire week can prove challenging. That is why I thank the Lord for the invention of Whatsapp. I have basically been talking to people non-stop. when I say people. I mean about 3 persons. One of them I haven't even met yet but very much look forward to the time when I will, next tuesday.
So yeah, right there is my 2012. Pretty crap year in which my Gran and Cat both died.
Another year passed, another year single. It's not due to lack of trying, it's because no girl can actually handle my awesomeness, despite about a million hints I gave to one oblivious human being, you know who you are.
I hope you enjoyed this. I know it isn't great but there will be better ones up soon. I promise.
Cheers, Olly
P.S Thank you Harrison, I will try to weave my magic
So, as I write this I am sitting on a balcony in the beautiful village of Kaprun in Austria. Its -6 degrees, snowing and sunny. Fucking mental.
Anyway, I decided to start one of these after reading my friend Harrys blog (HPFleming.blogspot.com). His is very funny and I suggest you read it, mine probably wont be as amusing, but I will still give it a go.
So I thought I would start by writing a bit about the year just gone, 2012 for those of you incapable of normal and sensible thought....Whelton.
The last year started for me as this one has, stuck in Austria with my family, texting a girl who is at a party making me insanely jealous. I wanna party to.
So after I came home from my skiing holiday, we all went straight back to school and fitted in to the same boring routine. Form time, lessons one, two and three, break, lessons four and five, football (lunch), lessons six and seven, coach home and talk about football.
Nothing exciting really happened through January, or February or even March for that matter. In April though, I went to see Les Miserables with mi familia. It is sooooo good! See it. Also in April I got my devising group for my GCSE Drama. I think its safe to say that we didnt start off on a good note. None of us really knew or liked each other. This basically stayed the same until about June. I still think one of the group didn't like me too much but she must have something wrong with her because I am fucking awesome.
May was a good month. It had my birthday, my sisters birthday and my cousins birthday. Oh yeah, and the Champions League Final. Thank you Didier, love you.
Our end of year exams came and went, I picked up the usual results of mainly B's, one C and one A. Pretty poor I know but oh well. As the school year drew to a close I started to think about the people in my year. I realised that most of them, are infact massive bellends. We have a massive social hierachy. For boys, you have the gym obsessed ones who roll their shirt sleeves up as far as humanly possible and use words such as 'lid', 'bev' and 'safe'. Then you have the football lads/da boiz/JMAS. These guys, which includes me, are the ones that sort of linger everywhere. Some of the Gym LAds like us, some don't. This suits most of us down to the ground as we really couldn't give less of a shit. After us you have the crew. They are all perfectly nice guys, just not very popular.
Now, for girls, the hierachy is a bit less obvious. The popular ones are clear to see, they go to all the parties, only talk to the popular guys and think anyone else is an inferiour specimen. Then you have about 3 other groups or are basically as popular as each other, then there is another group of whom we shall not speak.
Come July and come the summer. Now, can you guess what always comes with summer? No holiday pictures is not the answer. The answer is infact the endless of amount of tweets about how 'fat I am' or 'how my skin is soooooo pale'. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody really cares, its just fishing for compliments. More than once when someone tweets 'oh my god look at my belly I am so fat' with a picture of them in a bikini attached, I have wanted to comment 'yes, you are. Now get over it and go for a run'. I didn't actually put that, I am not that mean.
Into August and que the Olympics. The first event was the Olympic road race coming through my home shithole that is Dorking. Off we trundled to watch Cav,Wiggo,Froome,Millar and Stanard to zoom past on 9grand Pinarellos. We should have one but we had to tow the peloton the entire way. The Americans, Germans and Spanish all chose not to help. Well screw them.
I think the Olympics was an overall success, although swimming...yeah.
AFter the summer we all came back to school and had about a million lectures on how important GCSE's are and how they will mould our future. No pressure then. We also had our GCSE drama piece to perform, that went will and I will actually miss that group. Well I will talk to some of them again but others probably won't be seen dead with me.
November came and with it came the muffled tones of Christmas bells. I love Christmas, food, presents, family and the food, seeing people , food. (thank you Miranda Hart). Christmas day came, I got some cool shit, and went again, leaving me with a full stomach and an eagerness for Doctor Who to start. On the 29th we flew out to Munich and drove here, to Austria. It is cool out here, but being with only my family for an entire week can prove challenging. That is why I thank the Lord for the invention of Whatsapp. I have basically been talking to people non-stop. when I say people. I mean about 3 persons. One of them I haven't even met yet but very much look forward to the time when I will, next tuesday.
So yeah, right there is my 2012. Pretty crap year in which my Gran and Cat both died.
Another year passed, another year single. It's not due to lack of trying, it's because no girl can actually handle my awesomeness, despite about a million hints I gave to one oblivious human being, you know who you are.
I hope you enjoyed this. I know it isn't great but there will be better ones up soon. I promise.
Cheers, Olly
P.S Thank you Harrison, I will try to weave my magic
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